


Shadows

by MatchaMochi



Series: Lance Dish Time [10]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Tragedy, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, References to Depression, james doesnt know tho so, junior james, senior lance, theres fluff in it I swear, yes lance is a ghost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:14:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24004180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MatchaMochi/pseuds/MatchaMochi
Summary: Lance McClain is three years his senior majoring in law and a huge pain in his ass. He’s cheeky, makes stupid jokes that have no right to exist in his vicinity and just won’t leave him alone.“You always look so serious!”  he’d say, pushing past his books, nudging his shoulder. “Stop wasting away here James, get out and live man,”////(the hanged man and the student who stays in the library......just another short, tragic story....)
Relationships: James Griffin/Lance (Voltron)
Series: Lance Dish Time [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1675384
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	Shadows

**Author's Note:**

> tbh I only wanted to write bout ghost jock lance but it spiralled down into this mess..... (please read the tags)

There’s a corner in the library where they say a student hanged himself with the sheets he got raped from days ago. It’s one of those dark stories seniors would whisper to warn off students from doing anything untoward in the quiet shelves of the library. They’ll say, ‘ _If you look at the peephole of the door and you see red, it’s not the wall, it’s the eyes of the hanged man staring back at you._ ’ shakes their head and murmurs, ‘ _Don’t stay there too long, sometimes shadows are just shadows but sometimes if you start seeing feet hanging from the windows it’s time to leave._ ’

James does not believe in ghosts.

He thinks it's ridiculous, how people would get so scared at something that simply isn’t true. He gets into college, he earns his high grades, and he strives for the best. He has no time for rumours and ghost stories, he’s the captain of his football team and the top in his class, what scared him more was the threat of failure hanging over his head.

Nothing ever really distracts him from his studies, he doesn’t really date, and he does go out with his friends but he always ends up at the same corner in the library. And there he was again; Monday morning and his class got cancelled so he stayed in to read about what they would’ve learned.

The sunshine spills down on the smooth, mahogany table, a warm breeze sneaks in from windows. He pulls his earphones off when he starts hearing birdsong. It’s peaceful. He sighs and lays back a bit, closes his eyes from the books scattered in front of him.

Then, a loud scraping sound and a small laugh. James blinks his eyes open and stares at the man sitting across from him. Blue eyes shining, a roguish grin making the piercings on his ears shine.

James opens his mouth to tell him to go away but he gets cut off,

“That’s a lot of books there bud, won’t you get bored?”

There’s a slight difference in the air, he thinks. The clouds cover the sun and the windows make long shadows on the floor.

He can’t hear the birds anymore.

-

Lance McClain is three years his senior majoring in law and a _huge_ pain in his ass. He’s cheeky, makes stupid jokes that have no right to exist in his vicinity and just won’t _leave him alone._

_“You always look so serious!”_ he’d say, pushing past his books, nudging his shoulder. “ _Stop wasting away here James, get out and live man,_ ”

And, and- and well, however much he hates to admit it, but he really doesn’t hate having Lance there, with him. Ryan goes with him there sometimes, but somehow, it’s different, with Lance.

He’s not surprised to find out that Lance is popular among his peers, he crows about winning trophies on archery but smiles in a naughty way when he talks about the grades in his classes. James has absolutely no idea how he does it but he finds himself opening up to Lance, bit by bit, by his beaming smile, his loud laughter.

He spends more and more time in the library and he stops making excuses for himself when he says he goes there to study. And each and every time he meets Lance, with his obnoxious blue snapback turned back and his dark letterman jacket his heart pounds a little faster, he finds himself blushing when Lance gets too close, brushing his hands with his.

He snaps and scowls at Lance but it never works. And one peaceful morning, he’s laughing too, after another one of Lance’s stupid jokes, and his back shakes with it. He still blushes but he doesn’t stay away, scoots closer to Lance’s warm shoulder.

Lance calls him his ‘cute junior’ one day and something finally clicks into place. That night, he thinks about asking Lance out for breakfast, or dinner, or- or anything really. Everything seemed so much livelier when it’s with Lance.

-

Unfortunately, he doesn’t do it the next day, but he does succeed on the third. Musters up his courage and holds Lance's hands in his, tilts his chin and kisses him, soft and sweet. The long silence after is discouraging, and the shocked look Lance gives him even more so. But Lance exhales shakily, squeezes his hands, pecks his nose, and kisses him back.

James feels like he’d died and gone to heaven.

-

James Griffin is an utter _fool._

And he forgets how angry he could be, how something so infuriating and unfair could boil deep to his bone until his hands are shaking with it, his nails digging into his palms in a fist.

It starts with the old obituary notice flashing at him after he searches the internet about the championships Lance told him he’d won. Continues like shit falling down the drain, like the blood pounding at his ears when he reads the short sad story of Lance McClain twenty years ago.

He goes to the library and it feels stagnant, dark, and domineering. The windows are shuttered closed, the rain outside is so heavy thunder makes the glass rattle with the force of it. Lightning flashes and he sees it.

Lance’s feet are bloodied and torn where he’s idly swinging it as he sits on the table. He’s wearing a white dress shirt that has its buttons hanging by its strings, edges worn out with dirt. His face is purpled with fresh bruises and his hair is sticky with yet more blood.

He’s not smiling.

But he does, a bit, when he spots James trying to stay on his feet, trying not to cry in pain. He tilts his head to the side, looks at James softly and says,

“My murderer was a stupid bastard so he beat me up before hanging me here so he could pose it as a suicide.” Lance’s eyes are tinged with red, but he could still see the blue shining in it, desperately hopes he could reach out and hold him, “It isn’t like I haven’t thought of doing it, after he raped me I blamed myself. Had I been too careless? Was I wearing the wrong thing? I am ruined, I am nothing.”

James sobs, shakes his head, tries to say, ‘ _No, no, no, none of this was your fault. None of this should have happened-_ ’ but Lance sighs, “I went to the police, and can you believe it? You can guess yeah but it made it worse. I felt like the attention slowly killed me; it was his fault, then it was my fault. _You’re killing his career,_ they say, don’t you feel any sense of _responsibility?_ ” he spits this out, and James sees the wet crimson trailing down his cheeks, a growing dark puddle on the floor.

“I pulled through, my friends helped me win in court and he- he,” he gives out a hacking laugh, “He gets two years in jail when I _know_ I wasn’t his only victim,” shakes his head, “I was going to graduate, and I knew he was out but I didn’t know he was in campus. He cornered me, and I tried to call for help but he knocked me out, beat me, strangled me, and hanged me here in this stupid fucking place where I’ve always stayed to study and I- I just-” his choked sobs are deafening, James feel like throwing up, feels like screaming at everything and everyone, “……my friends handled the case for his lifelong sentence. It feels good I guess, getting retribution.”

The storm outside has settled, light begins to peek through the windows. Lance looks almost incandescent like this, someone who has been through so much yet can still shine. James is strung out and exhausted, he takes two steps but his knees shake, and he sinks to the ground.

“I don’t really know why I’m still here honestly,” Lance’s face is shiny with tears and blood but then he hops down from the table and his figure instantly changes to the one James is familiar with. Blue snapback and dark letterman jacket, he beams at James and kneels down, “I am nothing but a shadow James, I think, what called me here was you.”

Lance cups his cheek and James closes his eyes, revels in the warmth of his hands, “The only thing I’ve ever regretted was not being there with everyone. Not making full use of the time I still had with the ones I’ve loved most. Not….living.” He kisses James forehead, his eyelids, his lips, featherlight but just as searing, “So live, be kind and stay with your friends, work hard, but go out too.”

James shakes his head, whimpers when he feels the warmth disappearing, “Fall in love again and don’t hold on to me. I’d like it if you remembered me just like this.”

Lance's eyes are the kind of blue he thinks he can drown into, and he doesn’t think he can ever forget it, as it starts to fade away.

-

-

-

-

-

James Griffin lives, and he takes in law. He works hard but he spends time with his friends and family too. He becomes a judge, and he does it exceptionally. He joins in support groups for rape and sexual assault victims, donates anything he could to their cause. He marries a man with a sweet smile and a shy laugh. He adopts and his daughter holds his hands in the hospital as he exhales his last breath.

The last thing he sees is the sky outside his window, blue and vast, and when he closes them he sees another familiar blue, and a wide, beaming smile.

- _fin-_

**Author's Note:**

> yes theyre definitely cuddling in heaven together, ahem, anyway Ive always seen the possibility of a ship between James and lance as being the laidback senior/serious junior type lol, I hope I've provided enough warnings for this fic, if anything is lacking please tell me :'(
> 
> hmmmmm next.....nyma?.....hmmmm
> 
> Thnks for reading!
> 
> I have a [twitter](https://twitter.com/crazydurians)! and check out my other [fics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MatchaMochi/works) too! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are highly appreciated!


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